Personal Journal Of A Bipolar Person (Memantine Journal)

[Psych0]

I still put my money on BPD here, stay with lamictal

[adreno]

This thread suggests that 4.8 - 9.6g of piracetam is optimal; very close to the dose you're taking:

http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic...48-grams-dose/

[kassem23]

Update:

The M&M crazies party was a huge success. Feeling at peace and have no remnants of depression. Thankyouverymuch, and dates lined up for the entire week. Spring break is great.

"When people can't do something themselves, they'll tell you that you can't do it. Don't ever let somebody tell you what you can't do. If you want something, you go get it. Period."

[burlyguy]

Update:

The M&M crazies party was a huge success. Feeling at peace and have no remnants of depression. Thankyouverymuch, and dates lined up for the entire week. Spring break is great.

"When people can't do something themselves, they'll tell you that you can't do it. Don't ever let somebody tell you what you can't do. If you want something, you go get it. Period."

Great to hear kassem!

[kassem23]

Despite the fact that M&M is near its termination there are still quality members on the site that deserve an update on my condition, given the involvement.

I have continued the path of introspection and have been meditating for several hours every day. I go to the park every day now and read, write and contemplate the meaning of existence. I go for 1.5 hour long walks, do push-ups, pull ups, dips and other core-exercises in the park as well (they have equipment)

All I needed was some direction, and I've finally found it - I can finally focus and it feels amazing. I've cut out TV and porn from my lifestyle and that is playing a significant role as well. I listen to good music, eat healthy and do my best to use my day to the fullest. I've also started another blog that will remain anonymous wherein I explore my thoughts, and do as much writing as possible for practice.

I'm going to paste something I wrote in an email to my father about my current plan:

"Lately I've been doing a lot of walking in parks (an absolutely wonderful park, I've spent 6+ hours there the past 3 days), and recorded my thoughts. I have a lot of them. I'm also doing a lot of writing. But I'm highly conflicted about the college stuff here in the United States of America. I'm very happy about my experience here and I wouldn't take it back for anything in life, but I'm also certain that finishing any of the courses wouldn't make a speck of difference given the way things look right now. If I do not get accepted into medicine this year, I'll hopefully get accepted into biomedicine, and if not biomedicine, I'll be applying for philosophy (bachelor), as well, as that is something I am certain that I love reading about and studying in great depth. In short, in the vastness of things, the studies I am doing here, and thus also the exams will mean absolutely nothing; for two particular reasons, the first of which I've just depicted, the second of which lies in the fact that I have not given studies my full attention to the reasons you already know of; ie. 'that wasn't the purpose of the trip', etc.

In short, I am finding my inner voice more and more lately. I am able to focus finally because I've done a significant amount of introspective exercises and really tried to pinpoint and understand where I want to go in life. I've decided that I have the capabilities of becoming an artist, and I can choose to become an artist in many different ways. I can choose for myself whether I want to become a writer as a side-project when studying for an MD, or simply just being a writer (and working menially besides that.), or a philosopher (bachelor) and writer. One thing is for certain: I want to travel the world and see the many places and vicissitudes that entail this mysterious place called Earth, and then share my experiences through writing or other means of self-expression.

I am continuing the volunteer work, but I would like some closure on the educational frontiers here in America. Pursuing an A in the different courses seems unattainable at the moment given the significance of the experience and... what happened: life."

I am returning to Denmark the 17th of April; it has been a fun and extremely insightful ride. I am going to miss the United States (Tulsa, OK) for sure, but time marches on, and I must now move on.

Thanks for listening.

[pyttsan]

Nice to hear from you kassem, glad you're doing great. What got you started on meditation, if I may ask? Any particular method?
And, the biggest question: what drugs are you on atm? ;-)

[Psych0]

Nice to hear from you kassem, glad you're doing great. What got you started on meditation, if I may ask? Any particular method?
And, the biggest question: what drugs are you on atm? ;-)

No medications, I suppose : )

[kassem23]

Nice to hear from you kassem, glad you're doing great. What got you started on meditation, if I may ask? Any particular method?
And, the biggest question: what drugs are you on atm? ;-)

Thank you. I hope you're doing great, as well.

I've started meditation because I realize there are huge benefits to it. I do not believe in any special method, merely that one should try to be as contemplative as possible and not try to 'control' anything. I can meditate when I'm going for a long walk, or sit in the grass in the park and just close my eyes positioning myself in a half-lotus position, and just let everything flow through me.

As for drugs, I only take piracetam every other day and only a couple of pills (1600mg), as it feels like I'm somehow saturated from dosing it over a long period of time now.

My supplement regimen is: 2-3g of fish-oil every morning and 25mg zinc (pre-bed). No vitamin-D as I spend 4-6 hours in the sun every day now. I'll be adding cordyceps when I return to Denmark.

I feel calm and not at all restless and ADHD like before. I do not get random bursts of euphoria, I do not want to drive extremely fast in my car, and I'm not spending money left and right. In short, my impulsivity and symptoms of 'bipolar II' disorder has passed.

The fact that I am returning to Denmark and I now have a game-strategy also means a lot to me. Moreover, I am going to Lazarote, Spain with an absolutely gorgeous girl I've been in love with since I was sixteen sometime in June, so that should be great fun as well.

Take care,
Peace

[anito]

Despite the fact that M&M is near its termination there are still quality members on the site that deserve an update on my condition, given the involvement.

I have continued the path of introspection and have been meditating for several hours every day. I go to the park every day now and read, write and contemplate the meaning of existence. I go for 1.5 hour long walks, do push-ups, pull ups, dips and other core-exercises in the park as well (they have equipment)

All I needed was some direction, and I've finally found it - I can finally focus and it feels amazing. I've cut out TV and porn from my lifestyle and that is playing a significant role as well. I listen to good music, eat healthy and do my best to use my day to the fullest. I've also started another blog that will remain anonymous wherein I explore my thoughts, and do as much writing as possible for practice.

I'm going to paste something I wrote in an email to my father about my current plan:

"Lately I've been doing a lot of walking in parks (an absolutely wonderful park, I've spent 6+ hours there the past 3 days), and recorded my thoughts. I have a lot of them. I'm also doing a lot of writing. But I'm highly conflicted about the college stuff here in the United States of America. I'm very happy about my experience here and I wouldn't take it back for anything in life, but I'm also certain that finishing any of the courses wouldn't make a speck of difference given the way things look right now. If I do not get accepted into medicine this year, I'll hopefully get accepted into biomedicine, and if not biomedicine, I'll be applying for philosophy (bachelor), as well, as that is something I am certain that I love reading about and studying in great depth. In short, in the vastness of things, the studies I am doing here, and thus also the exams will mean absolutely nothing; for two particular reasons, the first of which I've just depicted, the second of which lies in the fact that I have not given studies my full attention to the reasons you already know of; ie. 'that wasn't the purpose of the trip', etc.

In short, I am finding my inner voice more and more lately. I am able to focus finally because I've done a significant amount of introspective exercises and really tried to pinpoint and understand where I want to go in life. I've decided that I have the capabilities of becoming an artist, and I can choose to become an artist in many different ways. I can choose for myself whether I want to become a writer as a side-project when studying for an MD, or simply just being a writer (and working menially besides that.), or a philosopher (bachelor) and writer. One thing is for certain: I want to travel the world and see the many places and vicissitudes that entail this mysterious place called Earth, and then share my experiences through writing or other means of self-expression.

I am continuing the volunteer work, but I would like some closure on the educational frontiers here in America. Pursuing an A in the different courses seems unattainable at the moment given the significance of the experience and... what happened: life."

I am returning to Denmark the 17th of April; it has been a fun and extremely insightful ride. I am going to miss the United States (Tulsa, OK) for sure, but time marches on, and I must now move on.

Thanks for listening.

Wow you managed to stop watching porn? You think you could help me out a little?

[ricca91]

Thank you. I hope you're doing great, as well.

I've started meditation because I realize there are huge benefits to it. I do not believe in any special method, merely that one should try to be as contemplative as possible and not try to 'control' anything. I can meditate when I'm going for a long walk, or sit in the grass in the park and just close my eyes positioning myself in a half-lotus position, and just let everything flow through me.

As for drugs, I only take piracetam every other day and only a couple of pills (1600mg), as it feels like I'm somehow saturated from dosing it over a long period of time now.

My supplement regimen is: 2-3g of fish-oil every morning and 25mg zinc (pre-bed). No vitamin-D as I spend 4-6 hours in the sun every day now. I'll be adding cordyceps when I return to Denmark.

I feel calm and not at all restless and ADHD like before. I do not get random bursts of euphoria, I do not want to drive extremely fast in my car, and I'm not spending money left and right. In short, my impulsivity and symptoms of 'bipolar II' disorder has passed.

The fact that I am returning to Denmark and I now have a game-strategy also means a lot to me. Moreover, I am going to Barcelona, Spain with an absolutely gorgeous girl I've been in love with since I was sixteen sometime in June, so that should be great fun as well.

Take care,
Peace

WOW man, I am very very happy for you!! Keep it up and I wish you the best with the girl

[kassem23]

Wow you managed to stop watching porn? You think you could help me out a little?

Sure.

Step #1: Delete all porn.
Step #2: Close computer.
Substep #2a: Block all porn pages using porn-filter.
Substep #2b: Use internet in blocks of time (e.g. "You now have 20 minutes to download the material you need for said class, and that's it.", and do not leave it open.)
Step #3: Go outside.
Step #4: Meditate.
Step #5: Read.
Step #6: Exercise.
Step #7: Sleep.

[kassem23]

WOW man, I am very very happy for you!! Keep it up and I wish you the best with the girl

Thanks mate! We just ordered hotel today, and this is where we're going Lanzarote, Spain:

[ricca91]

Really, really awesome dude, seems like a wonderful place to relax and enjoy... And much more with a girl! Kudos!!

[kassem23]

Really, really awesome dude, seems like a wonderful place to relax and enjoy... And much more with a girl! Kudos!!

Thanks mate! I am looking so much forward. I even wrote a poem about it, haha. It might as well post it here:

The adventure awaits in the horizon,

I see a cloud,

the cloud being clear and foamy,

and yet nothing is phony.

***

Her laugh liberating,

His attitude emancipating,

Her smile mysterious,

reminds me of a cat - meow

His character transcending,

reminds me of a straw hat - kapow!

***

Him and her,

forever alone,

yet they find solace,

in their thoughts bygone.

***

The lust and vigor,

of the spirit in jigger,

they wiggle in synchrony,

almost like a symphony,

but nobody knows,

as they carry themselves vicariously,

through time and space,

as if they were out of place.

***

Time crawls still,

surfacing slow,

could time please just go-go-go?

but no,

every moment is passing,

and every passing is fleeing,

without knowing,

without seeing,

there is no being.

***

The eternal joy,

of being in a ray of light,

brings back memories,

of the vexing truths,

of the spirit’s singing,

and the soul’s dancing,

and the love advancing,

who should be allowed to stop,

when there is no but,

but only a yes,

and an adventure,

and a horizon,

and a new day,

and now my hair is turning gray.

[Psych0]

Oh no, again piracetam

[kassem23]

Oh no, again piracetam

You can't see the difference between writing something out of passion, and piracetam? I feel sorry for you.

[mmsn]

meh... wtf is going on this forum? i miss the good old studies in vitro, rats and monkeys or they share it in private forum now?

[rjm07]

The forum is dead, now full of chit chat and pointless bollocks. ImmIst seems to have more going for it lol

[Psych0]

Now we prefere poems !

[mmsn]

Now we prefere poems !

hahaha