Curious, have you ever tried any medications indicated specifically for bipolarity? Don't get me wrong, I'm quite excited to have someone else on the memantine-ship that actually exercises and has a functional keyboard.
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Secondly, I would like to add that I have some memantine that I bought back in the fall during a period of deep depression/desperation and had yet to see a doc. My experience with memantine was almost instant relief from depression. I could take it at night and the following day and I would have immediate, lasting AD effects. I would have kept taking it if it weren't for the feeling of guilt I get from using drugs I don't have an Rx for. Anyways, I didn't get such AD benefits when trying DXM briefly. There is definitely some magic to memantine. I found it to be extremely anxiolytic, improve focus, and obliterate anhedonia.
Kassem, I've felt like this most of my life, so I know exactly what you mean. It sure does sound bipolar to me. I believe that glutaminergic transmission is the key to this thing, so you are on the right track.
Memantine makes me feel great in terms of mood and energy, but it makes me severely cognitive dysfunctional, even at 5mg. More than a week on it, and it would just get worse, rather than better.
This sounds more as BPD then Bipolar
I have seen it claimed that the main difference is that BPDs have feelings of emptiness and fear of abandonment, whereas bipolars do not. Using those criteria, I fit more with the personality disorder diagnosis.
Kassem, were you recently dx.'d Bipolar, or is it a self-diagnosis?
I ask because I understand you also have ADHD, and that there might be some relationship between the two. How frequent are these cycles you experience?
There was one 9 month period where I experienced an elevated mood, increased desire to socialize, increased hyperactivity, increased substance abuse, less control over spending, but not a reduced need for sleep. What's more, I was also self-medicating due to OCD, so my psychiatrist says the jury's still out on whether it was hypomania in his opinion. I just find it strange that prior to that I was inattentive, dysthymic, socially avoidant and shy, yet the emerge of an anxiety disorder seemed to cause my personality to change quite drastically.
I've also found that anti-glutamergic agents are great for mood/anxiety, but cause cognitive dysfunction. Memantine helped me but caused negative schizo sx. at 20mg, though I didn't give them too much time to pass.
poison saves, poison kills
Yes, I got to 20 mg, got severly cognitive dysfunctional, the brain fog didnt lift, even after a month, It was worse than being depressed, anyone could help me here out, I would like to try it again.
Yes! I experienced the beauty perception as well. Any speculation about the science behind it?I always hit the nail immediately and take a 20mg dose. I always find it highly pleasurable in that I am completely disintegrated from my self, and it allows me to see the beauty in things. Whenever I bumped the dose I felt reliably amazing for a couple of days, and then I stabilized. I really didn't care about the brain-fog and cognitive dysfunction in the beginning because I was feeling so damn good. After a while, I also didn't see any cognitive disruption, but rather, an increased ability to function in school and personal life. Unfortunately, it was taken from me, and seized my experimentation after about 20-30 days of use, if I recall correctly.
Just found this new study:
This basically suggests that NMDA underactivation contributes to bipolar disorder. Also, it has been theorized in other studies that schizophrenia (a related disorder) involves hypoactivity of the glutaminergic system.Curr Pharm Des. 2012 Jan 18. [Epub ahead of print]
The possible involvement of NMDA glutamate receptor in the etiopathogenesis of bipolar disorder.
3rd Department of Psychiatry, School of Medicine, Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, Greece. firstname.lastname@example.org.
Glutamate is the most abundant excitatory neurotransmitter in the brain and the ionotropic NMDA receptor is one of the major classes of its receptors, thought to play an important role in schizophrenia and mood disorders. The current systematic review summarized the evidence concerning the involvement of NMDA receptors in the pathophysiology of bipolar disorder. Genetic studies point to the genes encoding the NMDA 1, 2A and 2B subunits while neuropathological studies suggest a possible region specific decrease in the density of NMDA receptor and more consistently a reduced NMDA-mediated glutamatergic activity in patients with bipolar disorder in the frame of slower NMDA kinetics because of lower contribution of NR2A subunits. However the literature is poor and incomplete; future research is necessary to elucidate the mechanisms underlying bipolar disorder and its specific relationship to a possible NMDA malfunction and to explore the possibility of developing novel therapeutic agents.
EDIT : just saw you already linked this study. Still isn't this the reverse of what you'd expect?
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