I'm a male living in the UK.
So I've not been that motivated or interested in anything for years(it took me years to go from graduating to a proper career). I'm 28 now but even at school when I was about 13 people used to think I was always stoned as I was so passive/mellow. As a child though I could play with lego for hours and would literally not be able to stay awake on Christmas Eve, always wanted to meet up with friends etc so there was some point where I stopped getting pleasure from things; I think it was when I was about 13, I went from loving sports to being quite indifferent to them, just going through the motions.
I've had episodes of mild depression since I was about 16 though it never lasts for more than a few days. I've had periods of bad insomnia, I'm haven't slept well now for several weeks. I only came across the term anhedonia a few weeks ago and I think this is what is causing me alot of anxiety as it seems very hard to treat. I get some relief from alcohol where I can enjoy conversations more and not find it difficult to listen to people, as often I find it hard work to show an emotional response. I'm not completely devoid of personality, a few women have said I'm funny (probably in the way that Karl Pilkington is if you've ever listened to the Ricky Gervais podcasts).
I've contacted two private hospitals to see a psychiatrist; one gave me a number to an answerphone and they don't ever ring you back. The other needs a referral from a GP and they want to charge £150 an hour and I think that's too expensive. I'm having trouble even getting a doctor's appointment at the moment as they're always busy and I'm wary of asking work for more doctor time as I've had several visits over the last few months for what I thought was thyroid trouble though it might be adrenal insufficiency which the NHS don't seem to ever acknowledge.
So has anyone had any luck self medicating or seeing an NHS/private psychiatrist, I really don't know what to do at the moment as my work is really suffering, I find it hard not just to sit and stare into space, my concentration is awful? I've heard adrafinil works well but the brand here at qhi.co.uk doesn't seem to be made any more and I can't find anywhere else to buy it.
Any recommendations, thanks for your help.